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Quote: 749816; Rating: 553; [+|-]
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FeNdErBeNdEr04: how does one go about achieving a relationship with someone who thinks one is confused as m'kay about what one wants, but one knows she truly isn't confused, it's just that someone who's very confusing at times.
SkaRules: i can see how one would find you confusing
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Quote: 1570; Rating: 608; [+|-]
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<tress> i have no arms
<tress> i have to type by blowing through a straw
<tress> i dropped my straw
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Quote: 42913; Rating: 442; [+|-]
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<fo0bar> it's 5PM and I haven't put pants on yet. I consider this a good day
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Quote: 2109; Rating: 324; [+|-]
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<aNuBiS-> i like my women like i like my roads... flat and well traveled
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Quote: 658339; Rating: 702; [+|-]
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<phazonfox> Mario Kart is socialist.
<phazonfox> People in last place get better items.
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Quote: 572824; Rating: 653; [+|-]
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<Rhodz> So anyway, if I get that threesome with my girl and one of her hot friends, I'll be a happy man
<Psy> Well of course you'd have to tape it
<Rhodz> I won't be taping it. What I want to do is get a director in to tape it. 3 cameras, lighting, the works.
<Psy> Awesome. I did photography last year, I could totally do that
<Rhodz> Er...do you really want to see my wang?
<Psy> Well, we could just blur it out...
<Rhodz> Sweet! Then it'll be just like Japanese porn!
<Rhodz> ...
<Rhodz> Except I won't be shitting on her.
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Quote: 262679; Rating: 113; [+|-]
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<FQ|Dawg> ok so i was messing with one of my schools video cameras
<FQ|Dawg> and i recorded my dick, and i cant erase it off the tape
<FQ|Dawg> what should i do
<%CLV> tell them you were doing a study on the effects of amateur porn on modern society
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Quote: 40476; Rating: -14; [+|-]
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<|-|p|> neko-kun
<|-|p|> amrit is a h8er
<|-|p|> and what do we do to h8erz in this chan?
<amrit> deop em?
* amrit sets mode: -o |-|p|
* karr sets mode: -o+o amrit |-|p|
<amrit> like that?
<|-|p|> no, we usually don't do anything to haters
<amrit> ooh, heh
* |-|p| sets mode: +o amrit
* karr sets mode: -o amrit
<|-|p|> haha
<amrit> ...
<|-|p|> j00 got revenged ;p
<amrit> faggot ass bot
<amrit> I AM THE FUCKING 0WNER
<|-|p|> that's what j00 get for hating, dawg
<|-|p|> got to be a lover, not a hater
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Quote: 55095; Rating: 239; [+|-]
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* Cheez is now known as rwxr-xr-x
<MudBlud> ./Cheez
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Quote: 13921; Rating: 57; [+|-]
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<kineticupid> asian + mullet = cant get better
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Quote: 518696; Rating: 2378; [+|-]
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<RustySpoon> Hahaha... I just came back from Phlanges girlfriend.
<Phloam> Wtf were you doing there? ffs man have some respect
<RustySpoon> Let\'s just say she was glad to see me
* Phlange is now afk
<RustySpoon> fuck when did he log on?
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Quote: 15792; Rating: 77; [+|-]
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<Dante> Removing the HD isn't a good idea. No guarantee I can put it back in...And no she has no idea where my pr0n is (Stashed at my grandmother's next door)
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Quote: 1117; Rating: 358; [+|-]
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<hypr> WE IS TO CUT OFF ALL SUPPLIES OF VODKA TO YOUR SHITHOUSE COUNTRY
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Quote: 90010; Rating: 798; [+|-]
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<+Erik> my dad knows i was watching him watch porn last night
<@Kodiake> wtf
<@Kodiake> did ya catch ol' dad jerkin off rofl
<+Erik> lol no dont ask
<+Erik> i was watching him cyber on remote administrator
<+Erik> and posting screenshots on irc
<+Erik> and we were making fun of him
<@Kodiake> ROFLMAO
<+Erik> so some fucker gets on msn and starts iming my dad
<+Erik> then goes "erik is watching you downstairs."
<@Kodiake> HAHAHAAHA
<+Erik> "he sees you watching gangbang pictures"
<+Erik> "YOUR FUCKED"
<+Erik> "WHAT KIND OF FATHER ARE YOU"
<+reap> RIOFLROFLROFLROFLORLFORLFORLF
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Quote: 246829; Rating: 126; [+|-]
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<Eiko> CyberSitter: The Virus you can BUY!
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Quote: 2589; Rating: 301; [+|-]
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[Zammo] missee, humans are the only species that do it front on
[Zammo] so over a long time, females evolved boobs
[Zammo] because it matched the attractive effect of a good looking arse
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Quote: 471055; Rating: 1850; [+|-]
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<Lyme> I got Fight Club for 6.98 at walmart.
<Black_Bishop> I am Jack's low price guarantee
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Quote: 214794; Rating: 785; [+|-]
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[brs`IRC]: Amish girls are incredibly sexual.
[brs`IRC]: You've never had a handjob until you've had one from a girl who
[brs`IRC]: works a butter churn all day.
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Quote: 5751; Rating: 296; [+|-]
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[bytraper ] dammit where can I grab porn movies :(
[OpsuPup ] umm, try the internet
[OpsuPup ] i hear there's lots of porn on there
[Nemesite ] really?
[OpsuPup ] apparently
[Nemesite ] shit i would never have thought of that
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Quote: 542595; Rating: 641; [+|-]
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themadchef: they dont hire that often
themadchef: i went there awhile ago
iLOVEthat AliceD: and?
themadchef: they werent hiring
themadchef: lol
iLOVEthat AliceD: thats a fucked up story man
iLOVEthat AliceD: i liked the twist ending
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Quote: 14705; Rating: 162; [+|-]
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<Brujah_> Bubble Gum Cute: (adjective) Conventionally cute, sweet, and lending itself well to being chewed up for a while and then spit out when the user is done with it. eg. "She was OK...not hot, but bubble gum cute."
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Quote: 45544; Rating: 188; [+|-]
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<dn> if i cloned myself, changed the y chromosome to an x chromosome, and then had sex with her, would it be masturbation, or incest?
<Dareon> I think itd be illegal in 13 states, is what it would be.
<Fentom> -{dn}- I think it would mean you seriously need a girlfriend
<dn> i get the feeling i just earned a new wb
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Quote: 26579; Rating: 385; [+|-]
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<Eternal_S> Is this the irc-channel about the windows shell Litestep?
<DeVante`> No...
<DeVante`> This is where we, the homosexual IRC community, can come together without persecution from others.
* Floach- slaps DeVante` around a bit with a large trout
<DeVante`> Er..
<DeVante`> I mean..
<DeVante`> Yes...
<DeVante`> Litestep shell.
<DeVante`> That's us!
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Quote: 6120; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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* nailer goes to the city to acquire stuff
<zeitgeist> lol
<zeitgeist> stuff huh
<ambr> $10 says he's acquiring bumsex
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Quote: 7764; Rating: 512; [+|-]
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<redial> read me the contents of your q3key file and i'll tell you if the upgrade will work
<faz> my q3key says P00R 4773MP7
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Quote: 643308; Rating: -21; [+|-]
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<qu37z> thats the last time I let a mexican live in my garage
<qu37z> especially a quaker mexican
<qu37z> that fucker gets up at 4am and starts sleeping.
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Quote: 4877; Rating: 406; [+|-]
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<cade> zzz, you wanna kill yourself or something?
<zZz-> cade, I've attempted so many times and failed, it's not even funny..
<zZz-> Accually, it is kinda funny.
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Quote: 925495; Rating: -84; [+|-]
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<dux0r> giving head must be weird as fuck
<moot> lol
<dux0r> cause uve got like
<dux0r> a pee utensil
<dux0r> in ur mouth
<dux0r> like a chunky hotdog
<moot> xD
<dux0r> what a weird thought
<sudo> your penis is like a chunky hotdog?
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Quote: 128516; Rating: -180; [+|-]
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<axelgreese> "for every good quote on bash.org there's 50 blindingly horriable ones" - Ice cube
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Quote: 79; Rating: 1169; [+|-]
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<SYch0> [^_^
<blazemore> cellphones will give you cancer
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Quote: 696364; Rating: 698; [+|-]
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[Maverick] just imagine if it was a 10 dollar fee to get into heaven
[Maverick] and you died
[Maverick] but left your wallet in your car
[Maverick] so you couldn't pay the 10 dollar admin. fee
[BallsDeep] i would mug the next guy
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Quote: 49468; Rating: 65; [+|-]
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<Targen> I'm using a particular method to take the gas out of my coke that involves sinking the bottle's head somewhat deeply into my mouth...and some of the coke was dripping out because of a miscalculation.
<Targen> and my hand was right next to my nose
<Targen> I don't think I have to tell you what my hand smells like
<Targen> but the point is... eww, I will never use this method again
<Ender_Ray> thats what you get for having oral sex with a coke bottle :
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Quote: 2617; Rating: 2473; [+|-]
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<Plot> I was either going to die now
<Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast
<Plot> someone had the gas nob opened
<Plot> I went into kitchen
<Plot> switched a bulb
<Plot> and wham
<Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball
<theForger> woah dude
<C--> damn
<Jyrsija> jesus
<ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie.
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Quote: 593434; Rating: 943; [+|-]
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reaper: knock knock
SaladTongo: Who's there
reaper: banana
SaladTongo: shit i didn't think you'd find me here
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Quote: 119102; Rating: 659; [+|-]
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<Afghani> hi
<Afghani> h r u?
<zebra> what the hell kind of language is that?
<zebra> are you fucking fingerly impaired or something?
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Quote: 166956; Rating: 5881; [+|-]
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[ron`] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake
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Quote: 174539; Rating: 577; [+|-]
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* Calylinde straps on strap-on-dildo, dry humps up to chanserv
<Calylinde> hahah
<Calylinde> come on, channy
<Calylinde> bend over!
<Calylinde> gimmme the O!
<Calylinde> Chanserv
<Calylinde> you whore
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Calylinde
<@Calylinde> Hahahahahahah
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Quote: 638328; Rating: 430; [+|-]
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<zacwhite> they should do rock paper scissors over mail
<schwatoo> they do
<zacwhite> really? sweet.
<schwatoo> it is called paper, paper, paper though
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Quote: 772283; Rating: 565; [+|-]
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<InsaneJuggalo> females here are like viruses on linux
<InsaneJuggalo> theres only like.... 3?
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Quote: 18450; Rating: 216; [+|-]
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<carcoal> what's a good car?
<carcoal> truck or sub
<jitspoe> sumbarines are usually good cars, carcoal
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Quote: 12475; Rating: 1476; [+|-]
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<flee> my favorite people to talk to on the phone are those
<flee> that are self-absorbed enough that all I have to do
<flee> is say "yup" and laugh at appropriate intervals.
<flee> it's only annoying when I don't know how to detach.
<flee> I should write a program that will say "yup" and
<flee> laugh for me.
<flee> of course, I can't tell anyone this.
<mrg> yup!
<mrg> hahahah
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Quote: 58471; Rating: 187; [+|-]
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<Kaitlin> Holy shit my chair just broke right out from under me... I was just sitting here and next thing I know I'm on the ground and the keyboard tray has fallen down on top of me
<Kaitlin> I'm not a fatass, I swear!!!! *inno*
<Shala> i was refraining from that comment, tubby
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Quote: 61891; Rating: 236; [+|-]
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<rawb-> Hey nyisles
<rawb-> Wat doez your nick mean?
<nyisles> it means Niles
<rawb-> nile, like that ocean?
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Quote: 4291; Rating: 100; [+|-]
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<_Deathbr_> u can update ur sblive value or gamer to a live 5.1
<_Deathbr_> i saw that at friends house and i was like whoa.. u come across some kewl shit while lookn for eprom reading writing info's
<travolta> you can also find a lot of cool pages if you search for the word "the"
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Quote: 72130; Rating: 561; [+|-]
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<KKK> hey guys check this out, i can say all the banned words, and not get banned, look
<KKK> FUCK YOU MYDOWNLOADER KAZZA XDCCSPY CRITEN INSIDERZ
* dv sets mode: +b *!*@52DF899E39.addictz.net
* KKK was kicked by dv (banned: Repeated Offence, No Caps! 5min ban)
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Quote: 4287; Rating: 925; [+|-]
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<memo> > Would you like to go fuck yourself? (Y/N)
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> ITS NOT WORKIGN
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Quote: 640476; Rating: -135; [+|-]
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<NeloAngelo> i'm pretty sure my foot is broke ^.^
<NateZeiro> then goto a doctor
<NeloAngelo> those quacks cost money
<NateZeiro> then goto guatemala
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Quote: 199850; Rating: 377; [+|-]
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<valetine_4_ever> Piracy is wrong
<valetine_4_ever> Cool, but wrong
<Kalen> But it feels oh so right.
<Loony_BoB> It's not wrong
<Loony_BoB> They just have laws against it
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Quote: 48143; Rating: 195; [+|-]
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<vballa> i didnt know how to get to my friends place the other day... and suddenly i caught myself asking him for the URL to his house.
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Quote: 26307; Rating: 421; [+|-]
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<Syntax_Crash> I just got a 40x burner to replace my old 8x
<Syntax_Crash> my piracy productivity just went up by 500%
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